August Sex Questions
From orgasms, thrusts, and prepping up, this month’s “Ask Julieta” was SUPER juicy. It was a pleasure as always to answer your Q’s, and I hope you have some BUMPIN’ experiences soon!
“Where’s your favorite place to stick the thruster?”
The suction cup base and add on for Thruster products is probably one of my favorite features of the sex toy. Oftentimes, dildos can be annoying to use because you have to do “the motions” versus relaxing and receiving. With the hands-free thrust, all you need is a spot to set up camp to achieve some sexual pleasure.
My personal favorite has always been a wall near my bed where I can set myself up for success in doggy style. If your wall doesn’t work for suction cups, take it to the floor. I recommend suctioning it to the floor, and putting pillows on the side where your legs would go. Gently kneel or squat over your Thruster, and let it do the rest.
“How do you know the difference between a clit O, g-spot O, cervix O, etc.?”
These types of orgasms are very much felt in the respective area. Clitoral O’s really dazzle your vulva, and you can feel those waves hit your labia and even your vaginal opening. These are achieved though clitoral stimulation. Clitoral orgasms can be long or quick bursted, and really radiate the surface.
G-spot O’s, better known as the internal portion of the clitoris, can feel “deeper” and as if they travel through your pelvis and vagina. G-spot stimulation can feel different for everyone, and some people may be more of a fan than others. Many actually get the sensation they are going to “pee” with G-Spot O’s, when they actually just need to squirt. Yay! For many, a G- Spot orgasm can also radiate to your rectum which is super pleasurable. If you are having trouble reaching a g-spot orgasm during penetrative sex, try placing a pillow under your hips for a better angle.
Cervix O’s, the deepest of all, are very different experiences. Many people may not even know that they exist. In order to reach the cervix, you'll need deeper penetration. This can be fro a partner or a toy! An orgasm is achieved my pressure or rubbing of the nerve endings. I haven’t had one myself, but I’ve been told that this type of orgasm is deep, long, and radiates the entire body. They say cervical stimulation is stimulation of the heart, so it only makes sense that your whole body enjoys it.
“My fuckbud says I’m too tight nowadays. How do I ‘“loosen” up?”
Being “tight” is not a badge of honor to carry, but rather a queue to see how you can better relax during pleasure. When we are uncomfortably tight, it can cause us and our partners pain - this is due to our pelvises not being relaxed or aroused for sex.
There are two really great solutions:
1. Slow things down
If you’re going straight to penetration when you have a hard time relaxing your pelvic floor muscles, this won’t help. Even if we feel mentally ready, our body may be telling us differently. Slowing down and really arousing the body to “prep” it is one of the best strategies. This can be done by having your partner massage your inner thighs and labia, playing slowly with some fingers inside & out, and getting down with some oral. Arousal isn't an immediate reaction, and it may take some time.
2. Lube it up
As turned on as we may feel, our bodies may not self-lubricate which can lead to additional tightness. Adding in a nice, slick lube not only helps with thrusting glide, but it will protect your vagina and rectum from tears/micro-tears. Lubrication is always good to have on hand for partner intercourse as well as masturbation!
3. Prep with a toy
Following the steps of #1, using a toy before your partner can also help. When you feel that you’ve relaxed enough into your body, try a toy to slowly open up to penetration. I love using the Thruster Mini during foreplay with my partner. The thrusts can go as slow as you would like, or have your partner manipulate the thrusting. When you feel ready, switch over to your partner.
“How would you get over a crush you’ve never met before?”
My biggest piece of advice is to rationalize. We all see someone online, and maybe befriend them and enjoy who they are. What do we end up doing sometimes? We romanticize them. We fall hard over the idea of them: what it would be like to be together, to sleep together, to travel together, the works. We create a sort of intimacy with this person in our mind, and it may never play out in reality.
This can be disappointing for many reasons, especially if they don’t want the same or they don’t even know who you are (we all have our crushes lol).
With this being said, I recommend setting the healthy boundary and asking yourself: Am I really into this person or am I making it seem like more in my head?